Not Sure I'm fit to do this, had a 'bad night' and wonder; if I should call this all a day? (Be it some weeks away before I think/thought, I'd start up again).

Having some significant personal, practical challenges – and vulnerabilities – and getting myself in a state, has me reconsider priorities.

No one much reads this and as with other blog and like communicators, it's a lot about (my) sense of output. But – is this what... 'I' need?

As for God. Let God down last night and am bedraggled with guilt. Embarrassed and angry. All those in fury and flurry of madness ask to contribute… a crazy desperation to do something. Sorry. I'm just so frustratedly alone and torn up inside. I barely know a companion in the struggle. Weighs and when I have enough drink... gushes out in unrealistic frenzy.

Must die to self (this the goal) and rise in God. In the Holy – set apart and set right – Spirit.

Only God my comfort and sense of call but this to prayer and truly would make sense to seek some obscurity.

Again, apologies to those looking at this on my manic invitation. My sincere apologies if I wound you up. I don't feel at all good. Dreadful to the core. Sick of me.

Plus… have to consider my next moves in life while thus far, not knowing where to go and do. And so know how much I must stop blasting out in dishonourable folly. Not very often but once enough and is all the trouble I – don't – need.

So – thanks for reading. Please forgive me if you read and is relevant.

May God be with you

Mark